Sizzology » Bacon Fail

Bacon Robots: This is not a funny web site.

Joe — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 02:38:58 +0000

I found Bacon Robots when searching for bacon -francis on Google. Thought it might be cool. Maybe I don’t have the right sense of humor, or maybe I don’t like getting teased with obviously false lines like “because the only thing better than bacon is a hot animatronic lady to cook it for you.” If they were providing these robots that’s one thing. But they’re not. The site’s a joke. There are no real bacon-cooking robots of any kind for sale here. I was going to ask you, dear reader, to put a hot bacon-cooking robot in my stocking next month. Now I’m just going to say “don’t bother with the Bacon Robots.”

Update 10 minutes later: What’s up, bacon-hater?

Okay, so maybe there was a little too much hate in that last paragraph. People worked hard on BaconRobots.com . Their friends laughed when the site launched. I mean, our friends laughed at the Obama Bacon Man music video when it came out. I think. So, all that hate, I take back. It’s back inside me, wadded up somewhere deep/dark. Here’s to the Bacon Robots of the future, and may that future be closer than we think.

Filed under “knocking it before I try it” … microwaveable wowbacon, really?

Joe — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:52:43 +0000

Are you lazy? I mean, lazier than lazy? Super defunct lazy? Because I know lazy, and you’ve gotta be Led Zepplin-level lazy to think that putting bacon in a microwave’s an acceptable way to cook that bacon.

If you are that lazy, you’re not alone. Your laziness has won the attention, and, the invention of WowBacon: some cheapo plastic stick-it-in-your-microwave excuse for a frying pan. It’s only $20 — that is, $27 with shipping and handling.

I see that microwaveable bacon in the grocery store, and I don’t like it. I see this microwave-your-bacon product, and I smell fish. Here’s what WowBacon says about WowBacon: “Its ability to let you easily and quickly make only as much freshly-broiled bacon as you want, on the spur of the moment and without the usual mess, is a convenience offered by none other.”

Did you notice the catch-word? Take a look again. It’s broiled. WTF. Yeah, I want my bacon broiled. Yeah right. Yeah, I want my bacon cooked in something resembling a water pitcher:

Yeah right.

You know the phrase “Don’t knock it ’til you try it”? Yeah, yeah, I’m knocking it. And I haven’t tried it. But know what? The ball is in BaconWow’s court. I took a look through their web site and found absolutely no proof, words, or anything else describing how WowBacon stands up to pan-fried bacon. Yeah, that’s fishy. Sure, WowBacon has bullet points describing how they compare to pre-cooked bacon … yes, they’re comparing themselves pre-cooked bacon. WowBacon is the Fail Bacon.

Bacon Sandwich Fail: Wendy’s Baconator

Joe — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 21:51:25 +0000

Blog-a-dilla’s product vs. reality shots on Wendy’s Baconator sandwich tell the sad sad story of Bacon Fail:

( via Tammy, via BoingBoing )